The First Thing They Teach You at Theological College
Over the years of parish ministry, 'the first thing they teach you at theological college' has become a kind of catch-all expression in my mental dictionary for things that I may or may not have actually been taught at seminary, but certainly should have been, if the force with which the University of Life has taught those lessons subsequently has anything to do with it.
Number One: If anything goes wrong (when leading worship etc.) pretend it was what you planned to do anyway. You'll usually get away with it.
Number Two: (which the UoL taught me again this morning) Never choose as the first hymn something most of the congregation don't know. It gets things off to a ragged, unwilling and grumpy start.
Number Three: If you break rule no.2, tell the congregation the first thing they teach you at theological college is [Number Two]. They'll all laugh, and you've got away with it again. Thank God for loving congregations!
Any other good ideas for The First Thing They Teach You at Theological College?
Number One: If anything goes wrong (when leading worship etc.) pretend it was what you planned to do anyway. You'll usually get away with it.
Number Two: (which the UoL taught me again this morning) Never choose as the first hymn something most of the congregation don't know. It gets things off to a ragged, unwilling and grumpy start.
Number Three: If you break rule no.2, tell the congregation the first thing they teach you at theological college is [Number Two]. They'll all laugh, and you've got away with it again. Thank God for loving congregations!
Any other good ideas for The First Thing They Teach You at Theological College?
posted by Tony at 10/10/2004 04:26:00 pm
5 Comments:
I agree with TOm!
But they don't -this is the first thing your training incumbant teaches you -or not: I had to work it out for myself: like how to make sure it looks neat; how to make it curl the other way ...
The first thing they teach you at theological college is ... vicars never pay for their drinks!
Hey, have any of you BOUGHT Fairy Liquid recently? I challenge anyone to make a clerical collar out of one of the new bottles. Unless you go for the see-through look. (Though I reckon the design change was more a blow against Blue Peter than against the clergy, per se.)
No matter how ghastly, the previous incumbent is always right.
When in doubt, bow.
how to read haffertee hamster and howel owl stories to lower school kids and have them all totally in ore of you
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