Voices of Accusation
In one of those long dark hours before dawn, when you loiter palely and alone upon the margins of sleep and wakefulness, I received a vivid dre-mail. I don't get many of these, so I read it with some interest. It was an anonymous comment on my blog. And well, the writer didn't think much of it. Said it was selfish, self-indulgent, time-wasting, garbage; and much more along the same lines. No decent clergyperson should be spending their time and energy with this kind of crass nonsense; they should be out there seeking and saving the lost, in the midst of this naughty world, etc.
'Anonymous' was naturally not saying anything I haven't thought myself. But he (she?) conveniently overlooked the other side of it: the creativity, the energy, the interesting people you meet in Blogland, and get to swap ideas with, the way it feeds the search for the lost who need seeking and saving. I don't think there is much I have blogged that hasn't also turned up in sermons, conversations, parish magazine, prayers and other pastoral work. The blog is a kind of mirror and testing ground for so many ideas that later work all the better for having had a test flight here. (Wow, and such a mixing-bowl for metaphors, too!)
But it's intriguing to me that the Accuser has got into my dream country and is attacking the very part of my life which is currently one of its strong sources of energy, a spring of living water. Anyone else had this experience?
'Anonymous' was naturally not saying anything I haven't thought myself. But he (she?) conveniently overlooked the other side of it: the creativity, the energy, the interesting people you meet in Blogland, and get to swap ideas with, the way it feeds the search for the lost who need seeking and saving. I don't think there is much I have blogged that hasn't also turned up in sermons, conversations, parish magazine, prayers and other pastoral work. The blog is a kind of mirror and testing ground for so many ideas that later work all the better for having had a test flight here. (Wow, and such a mixing-bowl for metaphors, too!)
But it's intriguing to me that the Accuser has got into my dream country and is attacking the very part of my life which is currently one of its strong sources of energy, a spring of living water. Anyone else had this experience?
posted by Tony at 10/07/2004 10:10:00 pm
8 Comments:
Absolutely. I use my blogging for self-flogging even in the waking hours.
In the waking hours of last night, I thought of a better title for this post. It should have been called
E-mail from Hell
Never mind.
I'm a clergybeing too and kind of recognise the thing. As I'm sure you've also thought; it's probably someone with issues tangentially related to the email. And I think we do all beat ourselves up about the kind of thing you say. Self-indulgent? Maybe -or not. I blog too. For me it is a lifeline -a connection with the wider world which both keeps me sane [as an extravert I need that outside stimulation] and allows me to bounce ideas and find ideas as well as find support [recently messages of support over a difficult situation with the diocese have been a help]. None of that is irrelevant to ones ability to relate fruitfully to "this naughty world". Keepit up. I've been quietly appreciating what you share; now it's a bit of payback! [ie I'll tell you to keep on keeping on].
Tony...whatever else, please don't be deterred from blogging....Yours is such a good place to visit, and often starts me off on helpful thoughts of my own too. I really do think blogs are totally justifiable: we've been told in this diocese that its really important to spend time in "strategic thinking" as well as the perennial reflection, reflection and more reflection...That, to me, is what blogging is about (though I do recognise that I indulge in more than my share of on-line wittering too. No idea why anon should have needed to be so vitriolic, but hope you're not too scarred by the experience.
Um, I'm confused. In general. But also about this in particular. I don't get whether you're saying you actually received this email or you just dreamt about it...?
Sorry if I've inadvertently confused anyone. I blame an over allusive writing style, too much poetry consumed at an impressionable age, and the expectation of mistyping in blogs. (And don't forget, I'm a storyteller, dammit!)
The coinage 'dre-mail' was, indeed, meant to suggest an e-mail dreamed up in my half-sleep, half-wakefulness. It does not REALLY exist, at least, not on my computer's hard drive, but only in my own internal one. So the hard words of criticism are only (?) those of my own inner Doubter, Judge, Puritan, Accuser, Satan or whatever you call him/her/it. OR ARE THEY?
Don't blame your writing skills, Tony. I understood you at first to mean this was an email you dreamt about, and only got confused when some of the other commenters started talking about it like it actually happened!
On wives and blogs: Alison mentioned yesterday that she had been reading some of this.
- I didn't know you read my blog? I said.
- Yes, she said, it's the only way I know what's going on in your life.
Next thing, we'll be talking to each other on our mobiles, even when we're in the same room ...
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