Storyteller's World

Here's a strange little tale for our times.

I was going about my lawful business when my mobile phone rang (not in the middle of a committal, this time), and it's Vicky, from The Bank, with the good news that I have just won some money in a prize draw they are holding to promote their Internet banking service: everyone using the service gets entered in a monthly prize draw, and I've won the first monthly prize.

Now, The Bank does happen to be who I entrust the few coppers of my monthly 'stipend' to; but I hadn't actually heard about this prize draw promotion, and there are so many people nowadays ringing you up telling you you've won something which turns out to be only an opportunity to give them money, that I was a tad guarded in my jubilation.

-Yes, says Vicky, I just need to ask you some questions to verify who you are; can you tell me your 'significant name' you use to access your account?

-Oho, no, I said, not so fast. How do I know you're not one of those naughty scammers trying to get me to divulge my security details?

So she gave me a phone number and her name to ring her back. Which I did. And the woman who answered the phone said

-This is The Bank; admitted that they had someone called Vicky in Marketing, and put me through.

Now, we have all been so schooled to be suspicious about divulging security details (and I have learned my lesson well) that I was still cautious. So there then began a strange telephonic exchange of I'll show you a bit of mine if you show me a bit of yours, as we tried to give away enough to persuade the other we were legitimate, without giving away too much. For after all, any scammer who gives you a false number could get their accomplice to answer the phone and say they were The Bank, or anything else. In the end I was almost satisfied; but still not quite. So I phoned the customer service number I used to use (even though the infuriating, mind-deadening music you have to listen to while you wait to speak to someone was the chief reason for changing to mainly Internet banking), told them what had happened and asked them to check on Vicky. Which they did, and put me through again from their system. By this time the poor woman was probably thinking I was stalking her, or about to invite her to help me spend the money.

But what are you to do, in a security needy society, when two strangers need to prove to each other that they are genuine? I can see the day when banks will not only have to know our PINs, but will also have to give us a security password they can use with us. Exchanges like in the good old spy movies will become routine, for telephone and Internet banking:

-There are nightingales flying over the white cliffs of Dover.

-It is cold in the Urals tonight.

-Right, how much cash do you need, Mr Price?